By June Hunt
Elisabeth Elliot, Christian author and speaker, discovered hidden traps that hinder effective parenting and exposed them as hazards to an emotionally and spiritually sound home environment. Some fear they will frustrate a child by saying, “Don’t,” but greater frustration occurs with a lack of limits and discipline. According to Elisabeth, nothing “clears the atmosphere” better than appropriately applied correction.
Another hidden trap is removing structure from a child’s life, which can only lead to relaxed standards. “What would happen to the galaxies if they were unstructured?” she reasons. “Certainly there should be order in
the home.”
Elliot shares a Scripture befitting for parents: “But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.” (1 Corinthians 14:40)
Parents do not set out to fail at raising their children. They desire to do their best for the precious gifts God has placed in their care. Although you may take your parenting role very seriously, beware of hidden traps that cause even the most dedicated parents to miss their goals.
Parent Traps
(Note: The following acrostic spells traps.)
Treasure-seeking parents are …
- Prioritizing possessions and money
- People-pleasing for popularity and recognition
- Pushing for prominence and status
- Preferring pleasure and travel
Rejecting parents are …
- Lacking eye contact
- Lacking physical touch
- Lacking focused attention
- Lacking quality and quantity time
Absentee parents are …
- Choosing workaholic lifestyles
- Choosing careers over family
- Choosing unnecessary child care
- Choosing excessive time with friends
Power-hungry parents are …
- Displaying behavioral extremes (passively manipulative or forcefully controlling)
- Unwilling to admit mistakes
- Feeling possessive of the child or of the other parent
- Competing with other parents through their children
Spiritually-stymied parents are …
- Differing in theological beliefs, goals, and expectations
- Serving God to the detriment of family
- Misunderstanding the character of God
- Failing to practice faith in front of family or live with integrity
“Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge.” (Psalm 31:4)
Parenting (by June Hunt)
Kids are a lot like kites – struggling to become airborne, yet needing the stability of the string. A kite is not designed to be possessively protected inside the home. Though separation is painful, God designed your role as a parent to prepare your “kite” for flight. As the fragile frame dives again and again, don’t be emotionally torn by the changing winds. Keep running with your child, releasing more and more string into the Lord’s sovereign hands.
June Hunt gives practical advice and Biblical wisdom on how to be a great parent. Did you know:
- God ordained roles for mothers and fathers
- The different parenting styles that lead to problems
- The proper balance between love and limits
- The process of “letting go” and allowing your child to soar
- The hope God has for hurting parents
In most families, the role of a father and the role of a mother are different. Your child may be looking to each parent for different needs and acknowledgements. Learn what they are and how you can be proactive in the role that the Lord has given to you. Your child is a gift from God. The most compelling behavior you can model before your child is to reflect the character of Christ. It’s never too late to begin taking steps toward godly parenting.
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