The real title of this post is: “Things to make sure your daughter knows so one day she doesn’t strut across a stage half-naked, losing all dignity and honor.”
So if you’re a preteen girl reading this, make sure your mom reads it too. And if you’re a mom, be sure to share this with your daughters.
Not too many positive role models for our girls come out of Hollywood. But they could. Because any girl/young lady can make choices that make her a young woman of faith and dignity. I mention dignity because of Proverbs 31:25-26, 30 which says:
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.”
These are good verses for our girls. But girls aren’t always encouraged to make the right choices or to be the kind of woman mentioned in the verses, so it’s up to us as parents to guide them into becoming women of faith. Women of dignity. Women of character. It should start long before their first steps, but if not, start today.
Here are 10 things we need to tell our daughters.
(I added some resources to help with this. Some are written by me, some are not.)
1. Guard your heart.
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” The things you see stay with you. The things you read stay with you. The music you listen to has a message that stays with you. Use Philippians 4:8 as a guide for what you see and hear.
(Check out the movies you want to watch at Plugged In online to find out what they really contain HERE)
2. Love the girl God made you to be!
Psalm 139:13-14 says, “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” God made you who you are. He gave you the personality, talents and abilities you need in order to be who he created you to be. It’s okay to work at those things and improve yourself, but don’t wish you were someone else. You cheat yourself. You cheat others. Only you can be the you God made.
(Check out The Christian Girl’s Guide to Me: The Quiz Book for fun ways to find out more about what makes you special HERE.)
3. God has an amazing plan for you.
Jeremiah 29:11 was written to the Jews in exile, but it’s true for you too. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” You are not here by accident. God has things for you to do. That’s why #2 is so important. God gifted you with what you need to fulfill his plan for you. Don’t sell yourself short or settle for less than the best. Going along with what everyone else is doing might be the easy road, but it’s not the best one. God wants more than that for you.
(Check out The Christian Girl’s Guide to Being Your Best for great advice, fun quizzes and doable crafts to help you discover all you can be HERE.)
4. Every choice you make is important.
It’s easy to act without thinking or go along with the crowd. But each choice matters, even the little ones. Choices turn into behaviors and habits. Choices have consequences. Something you do on impulse to make others laugh or get attention may not have the outcome you plan. Weigh each choice and ask yourself if this is a good thing for you and for others. Think through big decision and discuss them with a responsible adult.
5. Don’t be an attention seeker.
1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “…whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” It’s okay to get attention for good grades, good sportsmanship on the playing field, singing a solo, making the debate team or helping out in the community, but don’t let that be the only reason you do them. And never lower yourself for attention. Twerking half dressed in front of a million viewers will surely get attention—the wrong kind. Is that attention is worth losing people’s respect, dishonoring God, and losing all dignity and integrity?
6. Your purity is your gift to your husband.
I know people don’t think this way anymore, but saving yourself helps you avoid guilt and emotional baggage. Cover up and don’t display to the world what you are saving for your husband. You can dress with style and still be modest. Add a cute high cut tank top under those scoop neck shirts. Put some fun leggings under the short skirts and dresses. Make your own fashion statement if you need to. Flaunting your half naked body in public doesn’t show any creativity or imagination. Finding ways to be stylish and modest at the same time does.
(Check out The Christian Girl’s Guide to Style for ideas HERE.)
7. Being different is okay.
You’re not a freak because you don’t sneak out to parties, make out with boys, wear a swimsuit that looks more like underclothing than something you could swim in, disrespect your parents or take part in certain activities. Even a small light illuminates in a dark world. Be the light others need to find their way.
8. Good manners never go out of style.
Saying thank you, writing a note, giving deference to the elderly, respecting those in authority, taking turns, turning off your phone in restaurants and talking quietly and respectfully show that you know how to be polite. They put you a notch above the others whether or not your friends agree.
9. Your friends will influence you, so choose good ones.
Proverbs 12:26 says, “The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.” Your friends are important. You talk to them about things you don’t discuss with your parents. So make sure your friends are the kind that will give you good advice and encourage you to be your best, not go along with the crowd or be mediocre.
10. Live on purpose.
Micah 6:8 says, “The Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” Simple, huh? Live intentionally. Live as a princess because you surely are as a child of the Heavenly King. Keep that in mind and the first nine points will fall into place.
These are my thoughts. What other messages do we need to give our girls? What books and other resources have you found helpful?
Katrina (Kathy) is author of The Christian Girl’s Guide to Being Your Best, The Christian Girl’s Guide to the Bible and several other books for the teen/tween audience. Katrina has a BS degree in elementary education from Grace College, Winona Lake, Indiana, and a M.Ed. with a reading specialty from The University of North Dakota. Katrina has worked with children of all ages in a variety of educational and church settings. She and her husband have eight children and live in Panama City, Florida.
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These tips are especially needed in a cultural where kids are goaded into doing things they normally wouldn’t do (like posting horrible pictures of themselves on social media). Kids need to know that they’re special as they are.